But also a year when the moon is full

Part One: is a full moon time for the Mid-Autumn Festival, every day looking forward to the Mid-Autumn Festival hurry, so there is a holiday.But really to the Mid-Autumn Festival holiday, the mood was not the beginning of the excitement and expectations.  The festival has been two years without a home, although accustomed to a person in the past year, but in such a festival, or inevitably will be homesick.  Think of a person over last year’s Mid-Autumn Festival, my heart is still sour, Mid-Autumn Festival last year, is attached to the National Day put together, the school will put a ten-day vacation, that time did not go home, edges, and students looking for part-time together, work Mid-Autumn Festival is just the first day, after work in the evening, because the time is not familiar with, it would not be able to catch the last train back to school before, he had returned to part-time place, where the staff arranged for us shelter.The way, I called home, I heard my father’s voice that he said a few words, began choking voice, quickly hang up the phone.Now think about it, there is a sub sad, helpless have taken such a thing, always go through, now, the festival has grown used to what is a person.  This year’s Mid-Autumn Festival is not how the flies, although it is not a person, but it is also a human and not much difference in the school Backstreet do part-time job, but also because the owner of a festival back home, and they let me work overtime.Well, thinking he has nothing to do, my sister is still military training, not a holiday, I promise down.Up nine in the morning to go to work at noon, and students fled went out to dinner, to be when the students give me a call, I was ready to shut the shop is still no alternative but to call my boss, but it is no answer, suddenly really panicked.Fortunately, a kindly aunt to see what I get for a long time in the stomach, then to help me, but still did not play a key out.Aunt’s husband also came to help me, or not out.  Later, the uncle went to find me a master of unlocking the phone, a little while, a worker is coming, the neat and quick put my keys taken out, but he’s asking price made me some can not afford , and then let his boss on the phone, so he really did not lock properly checking that bad, really do not like what this situation occurs again, and finally gave him sixty yuan.$ 60, while not out of me, but I still felt good Guia.  Night, and chat with his brother, he asked me there is no moon, I laughed, how did not it?He added how not to the full moon, in fact, I’m afraid, I’m afraid I will, “a man at the sky tears” (Wind from the Chinese net “met” for), Rao is a man accustomed to, or will touch homesick heartstrings.Part II: Mid-Autumn Festival is a year when the moon is full of green leaves, bright red persimmons, up through this foliage is blue sky, lofty, clean, full of fantasy, can always lead to the Chin people.This is the home of the old one yard of a picture is taken during last year’s Mid-Autumn Festival to return home, and occasionally turned out to see the total people feel at home, as if like yesterday.  In the larger house, the planted with a variety of green plants, every year from spring to Xia Zhiqiu are presented with colorful scenery, do not have a flavor.But, so the scenery is only about elderly father, mother and my Uncle can enjoy, because my brother and the whole family out to live and work with the ideal, is rarely home, brother, too close to home back some ground and we’re in a small house on the little back, the family gathered almost the only annual Spring Festival.  When out of the day, filled with a lot of unknown every day, work hard and the result difficult then people would like, always feel very depressing thing.Smoking, drinking, listen to early favorite TV songs, melancholy can instantly solidified, can incantatory them in a bottle, but annoying worries Xu is also the last final between mind wandering, over time, I even liked this is a touch of sadness, as if like to put on headphones to listen to the Arab-Israeli handle “Traditional” in the middle of the night, and then unplug the headphones to listen to the window and re endured grief and resentment like the wind.Perhaps my nature is doomed to a lifetime of depression, because I love myself, love their depression, melancholy love their unsuccessful choice of life.  A friend said to me, in fact, had to go the way of a stable piece.I occasionally really feel powerless and helpless, I thought that kind of life, but soon I will abandon shook his head, because I itself is a longing for freedom bird life, early feeding, tired late to the forest when life Lengnuanzizhi, do look at ways of the world, blossom along, all of which, when you live in a village about valuable tender is to try not taste.(Chinese prose network WWW.SanWen.COM) I like, I choose.I am glad that on my own life many fork in the road, I chose my favorite, even though the so-called wrong, no regrets.Because I’ve been along his ideal trajectory in advance, no guide, no guide, so just because it is the practice of their own, those of joy and sadness along the way, ugly or beautiful scenery in the journey of life, are eleven flashed, have experienced, and what this life more meaningful than it?  Mid-Autumn Festival is a year when the moon is full, I once again standing in a fork in the road of life, and this time, I have to walk between standing and the midpoint of the fourth decade.Waiver and select lurking, there choose to give up, you have to give up selectively.Select a courage, a courage to give up more.This exposure to which is the weight of the heaviest of hearts that their homes because home support everything, everyone has a their own unique home.  Another year the Mid-Autumn full moon, I looked up into homes home in a foreign land, blue sky, green leaves, bright red persimmons, patch of sky not lonely, because every wanderer’s heart is always filled with her, read her.    Part three: when a full moon is too late [excess] never miss like looking at the night sky, the stars bright even blink, afraid to see the full moon, think of themselves as far away from home has so alone; or afraid to see a waning moon, fantasy reunion will be how precious, how luxury is also.Hurry, Jinjinzhangzhang, always knew one day is past.Hands of the work, the emotional heart, tear forced smile, has long been exhausted toss.Eyes closed, blink of an eye, too late to do a few things also endless number.Sometimes, really feel, he did not live oppressed initial innocence, busy, no time for greeting friends around, but do not miss the flash away from home in minutes and seconds.Rise Wangxingkong, he never found the dazzling night sky, his eyes staring straight silvery moon, not only frustrating.How long away from home, the home of scenery may have changed; the home folks may have and once aging; the neighbor’s little sister should grow so tall it; they, and temples should become more gray hair now.Oh, maybe, I’m away from home, just such a warm and sentimental fiction picture in my mind.[Ignorance, but not the parting] young and frivolous, childish I still do not understand parting, preoccupied with the outside world, just want to have a pair of wings to fly farther.The outside world is very exciting, the outside world a lot of attitude, feasting city will no street lights in the night a lot of nice little village, the landscape outside, outside all the strange familiar far beyond the original no longer familiar home, occupied a hazy heart, all positions.South of the city as if there is no change in the seasons, green and warm weather seasons are seemingly always in the spring, in bloom flowers, endless fall foliage, colorful neon, they never stop wonderful.Very intoxicated this city, this season, so dazzling, it is the difference between the Princess and Cinderella.Forget, if not remember a better home, only that the dark streets, boring farmland.Forget all the vitality spring of hope, just remember the early spring dead; forget the happy laughter summer and small partners to play, just remember that the heat can stun the ghost weather; forget fruitful autumn, just remember too much deciduous; forget the pure white winter world, just remember once when dry forest.[Suddenly grew up, left home, I want to cry] leaves of the season, parting the years, fading distant whistle, it was how much time, all the time are no longer chasing not come back.Under the leaves dancing body, picking up one, into the Acacia, how long have not been so quiet, so do not miss too long.At night, a person looking at the night sky, the moon filled the gentle good, I do not know if the home side, too, was once the home when the moon is so nasty dark now, but it is so miss!  Based on the community, their own self-reliant now, really want to say good sad, tired heart!Suddenly understand the outside world, even if no matter how charming, no matter how dazzling, but only those feasting cold colors, never the kind of home warm from the inside out.Run around too long, tired of flying like a bird, trying to find a warm home to appease their own, but also brought back the feeling of how you want, you want warmth.The icy walls, soft moonlight streaming into the windowsill, scattered on the body, suddenly sad and wanted to cry quietly holding the shoulders.[Home Mom and Dad, you okay] forgive my ignorance, I was naive, once so cruel hurting you.In fact, I want to tell you, in fact, he had never hated you, I know you did to me all are good to me, I was naive thinking distorts the parents special love for children, I am very sorry, at the moment, really I want to hold you in my arms, telling never miss.Grown, never let you stopped to worry about, and now I have grown up, and then you really do not want me to run around tired, though I know not how good I am, perhaps, in your heart, I never considered a good boy.And now, I can self-reliance, I can handle their own affairs, all in all, because your credit, say a foreign language, thank you!  Mom and Dad in the moonlight, do you miss the baby, and I miss when I come back, when meet.The soft moonlight, I saw your vicissitudes, see your face ravaged years, the temples of white hair that I can not tell sad.Mom and Dad, I have not a good talk with you, all the words stranded at heart, I’m so tired pressure.Until the next time to go home, take some say spoiled the enjoyment.Part IV: the full moon is a year away from their parents, to leave his home, it has been more than two years.So far parents can not pick up a pen to write, it also seems to be a pain in the depths of the soul, a pen will flood into mourning.  Shanghai had to work, I know in advance the message.Not previously received formal notification, and the parents did not dare say, after all, is too big for their age.If I leave their parents, their three sons on the whole to the field.At that time, my mother vaguely aware of the message to be transferred, every time he returns home, parents are always around me, whining talked on.Said the mother, your father and mother are nearly eight-year-old man, no matter how high salaries outside, we can not go, once we had a slip, not even a home to take care of people who do not.Each time, his father will come on a text Zou Zou, then ancient saying parents, not travel.From their expressions and eyes can be seen a deep sense of frustration and sadness, so that when the transfer order is received formal, and parents still do not speak.Because it really does not have the heart to tell them the approximate grim news, I do not know how to begin to tell them what reason.I remember it was the sixth month, the company meeting was over, we drove directly to his party went to Shanghai, and is not too late to say goodbye to their parents, but the courage to face the old couple.When maneuvering the car, getting away from the piece of their homeland, away with me, support me, father and mother never left, and India into the eye is a strange place, filled with melancholy, I can not tell what AIDS is, I go after that, who will take care of them too?  I remember one time, the city fathers to the town market, not home until dark, frantic mother called me, so I quickly went to my father to go home.I quickly called a few colleagues, an intensive investigation and only then go home to find his father.That, after all, at home, every week they can send home to their parents a little delicious, accompany them to chat.In the future it will also become a luxury, previously performed by his son to do, after only tired parents.He came to Shanghai a week, dare to give parents a call; in fact, they’ve learned from my brothers and sisters there to Shanghai news.When receiving the call, my mother walked not a complaint, just encouraged me to have come, we must carefully and do a good job, do not have much to worry about things at home, it makes me both guilt and touched my righteous of Yeah mother!  Although already the fourth decade of life, but it was my first long journey; just came to Shanghai for the environment here, and so there are a lot of diet suited, coupled with the heavy workload, parents do naturally to attend to the.Mother’s Day is coming when, early mother and wanted to pass the phone, greeting greetings.Be true to the Mother’s Day night, sitting by the phone, and I think a lot of words, but has been reluctant phone call.Mother’s Day is only once a year, but not beside her son, did not send a gift, when they heard the voice of the mother after the phone call, the pressure of work and thoughts of love in my heart to all of a sudden.Brain went blank, the original is good preparation had forgotten spotless, I do not know myself what to say, just say one thing, “Mom, I!”Silence a voice choked, afraid mother is worried, then quietly hung up the phone.Until mid-June, have a chance went back home.In order to give the mother a surprise, did not tell her ahead of time, when I came to the door, my mother was sweeping the yard, suddenly came to see me, she was surprised, child, how do you come?Mother spoke, happy like a child, helpless.Father saw me, happy smiles.I finally went back to her parents, even a moment in time, they also like to welcome a long-lost loved ones around me all sorts of questions, do a good job no, habits are not used in Shanghai.My father asked me some change in Shanghai, he was talking about the army stationed in Shanghai for some time, it is particularly refreshed, as if all of a sudden back to the period of burning passion.  And before his father agreed, and so have the opportunity to take him to Shanghai to see the place had been a soldier, to revisit some.Father’s life had been eager to three places, the first is the Sun Yat-sen in Nanjing, Xi’an is the second mausoleum of the emperor, and the third is that he had the Fujian coastal patrol guard outpost.I have eleven promised his father, but now it seems nothing more than a picture of a blank check, also failed to achieve a.Every home, my mother always put her little basket of food brought me out, which certainly missed buns, roasted sweet potatoes kind of thing is now rare.Think of it, so far there is one thing still feel sorry for father.Once home to the city parents took an eye-opener, to a large supermarket, take the elevator ride to accompany them to see a range of goods, thrifty parents too accustomed to something I did not buy.By noon, he arranged for them to eat, thinking to improve their improvement.Came to a “coarse grains King”, his father did not want to see the “whole grains King”, his face filled not happy, but said nothing.Eat vegetarian multi-point, his father always eat this meal is not happy.Finally, I asked my father, like what to eat?He was like a child, quietly muttering, Pork.I think parents older, eating a little light good for your health.But I forgot, parents at home, can not bear to eating meat a month, and even tofu can not bear to eat, I used the city people’s standards to them, do not consider too thoughtful.Father, after all, an eighty-year-old man, sometimes naive like a child will be thinking, he does not want to eat a meal Pork yet?Why it made him unhappy?As the son, the father is not able to discern the mind, let me follow my father bumps all the way, but could not get a meal hekou meals, really do my filial son!Such an opportunity, there will be times it?  Another year Mid-Autumn Festival, moon cake kid for me is a luxury, but no matter how difficult life, my father always Mid-Autumn Festival approaching, moon cake to the family bought a pound.A person a small, five-jen, which has green their names, rock sugar.Chewing up creak, full of sweet, reluctant to swallow.When eating a hand holding in one hand and then.The kind of scene has deeply engraved in my mind, indelible.Today, eaten a lot of new high-grade moon cake, but you can not eat less than the taste of childhood, is the moon cake has changed or changed mood?Except a man be reunited, and how the full moon?  Moon overhead, thousands of miles away I do not know whether the parents eat the home of his son carry a Trustee of moon cake, whether or tasted a foreign land wandering thoughts of love.  Nung, moon and new moon!    Part five: is the full moon of the year did not bother to wait and hope, there is no deliberate care and miss, Mid accompanied by clear autumn leaves so come.  Akiba away thinking, nearly full moon.The freshmen will not yet dissipated marching Mid-Autumn Festival reunion is intended to leave.After all, the final wild goose to leave Zhao, the eagle after all longing for the blue sky, that we must be willing to take the time.  Unaccompanied outstanding students, and as you and I, learned each other warm, accustomed to warm right hand left hand alone, away to study, Qishang inevitable, but it also has a bit of friendship siblings.  When the full moon really like cake, heart still has a trace of desolation.For us might have been accustomed to this season, such a scene.As for the newly enrolled students, the heart always slightly lost it.I believe we will warm each other with sincerity to each other, so that people outside can feel at home a little.  The concept for the home, such as the Mid-autumn night never be as strong highlights.Although not alone in a foreign land for the stranger kind of lonely, but there are always every festival pro melancholy.Now though we are away from the students, but at least not forced to leave their families for a living.Those who run around all day for a living, in such a night, at a time like this, do you have the urge to want to go home, and whether it will stop hurry, and distant relatives to spend the night.All this is unknown, because they want to live.Maybe this pain and longing to be violent than any of us one to the real.This world there are a lot of frustration and pain, people can learn to be strong, life seems so there is hope.  An “I believe” echoes in the ears, so passionate mood seems as unexpected in this season, so out of tune, but is so people feel real fun.Because we believe that a better tomorrow, will choose to suffer in silence today; it is because carries a passionate dream, will choose this fertile soil silently work.We do not have what a great feeling, but also has a heart pursuit of the ideal, why they choose a person wordless road.  At such moments, you can choose a total of talking about family and family can also invite a mentor for months to talk about, you can also choose a person sitting in the window quietly, turning a few pages of books, several cups of green tea products.This holiday, was in a state of mind, not just a form.  No matter where you are, and how is the situation at the moment and mood, so please do not cry in the night.If that can not resolve the hearts of stagnation, it might go out and know or do not know who to spend the autumn of.Even walk by himself to the playground, but also a feeling of debugging a sort of state of mind.Send a rural school to learn the ancient heart and the moon, perhaps the hearts of the worries will be taken away by moonlight.  Things changed several times in autumn, after many such nights in the autumn of our lives, but like every night can bring us a strange feeling and emotion.Once I have tears in such a night alone, feeling desolate and empty, when a special moment came, it really did not feel right beside a shoulder to lean on, there is no pair can really hold your hand to move forward , But even so, after the night, the sun will still rise still.  So now we know how to be grateful, do not forget at this moment to give you a warm classmates and friends, and do not forget to send them a blessing and care.This time we all need each other, but more care, but we must know how to be strong.There may be tears, but do not let it stay in the eyes for too long, there may be sad, but do not let it occupy the entire atrium.After all, we want to live under the sun, too much sun exposure can not stand my heart injuries, not fear of injury before going to disguise, but because of hurt, so just know how strong.  Such a full moon night, do not let your heart fall apart, we should smile to enjoy the full moon landscape.Excursion to know the people you’re not alone, sad people are not alone and everyone’s heart all have one way or another unspeakable pain, whether fortunately or unfortunately they are now.We should cherish the present happiness, some things really are fleeting, as this full moon, passed can only wait for next year at this moment.  This year we do not know and who have to spend the night together, next year we will not know where to go, really similar in age years, each year is different.But this is life, this is life.If the rest of our lives, how could meet in life.It is because of the growth and change, we know better how to cherish the present people and things, Feelings and around, because we do not know when it will separate, and some even will never see, and do this fate.So when the cycle of years, when we grow old, read once the memory, makes it so the vicissitudes of life with sorrow and grief.Some things in life really are not missing.  Perhaps at this moment, always someone around to accompany you, then you are in luck; old friends and some relatives and friends who are not in, only a person singing alone for months, then you are also welcome.At least you have your heart with their companions, who did not lose heart, worthy of envy anyone.So this night, no matter how never allow yourself Qi Huang, a smile to the face of everything, even watching others reunion is a rare pleasure.In fact, these words are also our own comfort and considerate of one.But good things are worth to bless people, to enjoy, as this night, as this month.  We will pass this life a lot of beautiful scenery, will encounter many whitewater rapids, but we will pass and repass, visited the place, we will become a collection of memories.So we should savoring every season, because that will be our future wealth, so the face of nearly Mid-Autumn Festival, let us cherish a good taste.Even alone outside, remember to warm to someone else, as I said the same friends that sentence: Friends, I would like to invite you to a wonderful evening with degrees.    Part VI: is a full moon time for the autumn of heaven and earth were happy days.Cloudy sake do not see the moon, but think of the teacher Shen Nai.  Shen old acquaintance, on the eve of the Mid-autumn Festival in mid-1980.A colt from a small rural village in the Southwest, for the first time taking a trip alone to the provincial capital to study, pick-up truck along with simple things will I pull into the yard deep Shandong Normal University, unaccompanied do not say, even the East and West Bianbu Qing, was unsettling.In the Department of Chinese newborn desk, behind the desk to sign a skinny, gray-haired, slightly stooped old man watching me will be determined in: “Yang Chang save it!Dongming come from?”I am stunned on the occasion, the old man told me graduate school, my homeroom teacher and my hometown, and to arrange for someone to take me to the bedroom.Also came behind him and slightly husky Sichuan accent: “slowly get used, not only to the security of.”My nose sour, fear vanished when to get off, trance think of before leaving the station to send my father, just like back home in parting day.  Much later I learned that gray-haired teacher is Shen Nai.He was demobilized in the Mountain Division troops to the school from the beginning of school, he worked in the disciplinary office.When our school, Chen Lao also just returned to the Chinese Department of the office, with his memories of archival photographs and enrollment registration form, the first face almost called out the names of all new students, everyone felt like he was a kindly father.It is said that Chen Lao Mountain Division called the “walking dictionary”, who, without hierarchy, unavoidably, no he did not know.Leaving decades of people, a trip back to the Springs, he will look to his alma mater.  In the first full moon after the report, after gathering my students back to the classroom reading, she stared at the book, my mind actually full of home.Chen Lao unexpectedly pushed open the door up to me, still a little hoarse Sichuan accent: “Do not forget the holidays to write a letter home, oh mother worried about children traveling thousands of miles.”That time has not reopening the country a few years, the Department of Chinese and brightest clouds of steam, human and cultural resources, as the ‘eighties a new generation’, our attention was soon attracted by the teacher, classroom and library.From time to time to see Shenlao busy classroom of children lamp burned, he will be put on for us, furniture broken, he owned a tool to help us take the time to take advantage of nap repaired, books, stationery forgotten public classroom, in all likelihood, can receive him.Such a trifle commonplace, gradually also do not pay attention, someday he occasionally not, we just felt like something was lacking children.  Shenlao is the greatest exposure when I was a student school personnel.I have a habit of coming home early, early, he opened the door of the Humanities Building greet every day I come in, leave a small door at night, wait until I leave before dark, “squeak” slamming shut.Winter when I left and Friends Yuan Yilin learning, dormitories no heat, the late Mr. Xu Hui Yuan director of the Department of Writing Department has generously provided me shelter, water Shenlao will have to play every day, to my desk.Learn tired and then chat with him, listen to him when Shenlao and stories read in Chongqing vocational schools struggle with the KMT dean, about his dream of youth in the Southwest Military and Political University and aviation schools, speaking of school anecdotes.Always felt that his experiences should write a book.  Weekdays, Shen CEOs there are endless things, a little yellowed long haired silver, thin weak figure, hunched. He worked like a dilapidated machinery, though flexible, but never stopped.Work for him seems to be instinctive, more than my part there is no difference from the inside.Any one others seem modest living, he did so carefully, so invested, so engrossed.Send and receive e-mail he was responsible for the Department of Chinese, always in time of the telegram, letters, magazine into the hands of teachers and students.And time to rest, the thousands of school closure “dead letter” back to life.  Shenlao love to drink, whiny, even BS-ing.Colleagues and students in some people may not like him, but no man hate him, because he was magnanimous others, the heart does not exist any grudges.Shen teacher colleagues know not rub the eyes of sand, it would be for a drink on the World Wind Kusakabe accused of corruption and bureaucratic ethos of a pass, and shook his head as helpless like, drink.When I read graduate, Department of office once stolen, the thief will we go next month meal ticket roll his shirt.We wanted to find a way Shenlao, and he obviously drunk, staring red eyes: “Ghost son, my salary also inside, to have wisdom way?Get out!”Earl and under the head, full of shame, the way it looked as if he still sorry for us than a thief.  Just stayed on to teach, because the school housing shortage, I had heroes staying in Shanxi side Erqi Railway Village.One year winter Shenlao suddenly opened the door of my house early in the morning, say hometown came the telegraph, for fear delay.I looked at his pale face and hung on sparse gray beard of snow beads, knew he was riding trek for two Shiji Li Road bikes come.Heart desolately Yan, a little busy the whole random dishes child, a little old and sitting around the coal fire oven, half bottle of wine, drink waited a long time.Shenlao after drinking often say do not usually say that concern for the fate of the words, but not pessimistic, think that everything will always get better.50s in the day he was approved as a probationary member of the Communist Party, I am excited to see him like a child, drank a lot of wine.  Perhaps it is because people are too familiar with his school, and familiar to almost ignore his presence.After retirement, Chen Lao cheese still live in a room in the school, always busy on campus, holding a bowl occasionally to see him go to the cafeteria Dafan, telling everyone nodded humbly.In the winter of 1996, on Christmas Eve, suddenly I heard Shenlao died of advanced liver cancer, the hospital has been unable to heal.  Shen old busy life to hit the road.So many people went to see him.From students in the school, to seventy-year old professor had been staying at home.There must be countless people with Shandong Normal University have it, and in the distance, in the heart, quietly bid farewell to him.  White paper flowers surging, it is Shenlao life the most glorious moments.But he said he does not like on TV with the “brilliant” word, in his words: “In the future, what is brilliant?”Funeral parlor, transparent coffin Shenlao wearing a hat, did not see already familiar with his heart freeze-frame of a little yellowed long white hair, makeup could not hide his face sallow, his illness It was thin heart tremble.Shenlao must be tired, very painful, but he never liked hanging around, hanging around and thought it must enjoy.  Silver-haired, thin body, all day hunched Shenlao left the labor of love he is not satisfied with the world, stop for a moment, he was going to a distant, unfamiliar place to go.It must still go to physical exertion, I do not know whether he was put on beloved wine?Shenlao not only know the day is still the lack of full moon, Fruitful.  But also a year when the moon is full.Perhaps today, after his death ten years, very few people remember a man named Shen Nai.Perhaps Shenlao indeed not really a “person”, there will be no newspaper is willing to make a corner in his honor.Perhaps Qionglouyuyu living, non-human can imagine, need not have worried about living people.But I always felt, should not forget Shenlao left many things to where he had lived.  Only full to pour a glass of wine, in the heart of silent prayer: heaven on earth, good people ages peace.